My cancer diagnosis was a culmination of many factors; to survive, I would need to change almost everything about myself and rebuild my health from scratch.

My bladder cancer diagnosis turned out to be an intersection in life. At age 50, I was terribly out of shape and had fostered a lifetime of unhealthy eating habits. The stressors of life were overwhelming, and I employed no effective coping skills. Cancer, for me, ended up being a culmination of many factors. To survive, let alone thrive, I would need to change almost everything about myself and rebuild my health from scratch. In retrospect, my wife and I could have begun this task much sooner and detected my cancer far earlier.

Initial symptoms

Up to one year before my cancer diagnosis, the symptoms were numerous but not always clearly recognizable. I did not experience blood in my urine, a common and alarming first sign of bladder cancer. This prolonged my eventual diagnosis of non-muscle invasive bladder cancer (NMIBC), as my other ailments could potentially be explained away.

Among my first symptoms, I started experiencing frequent urination at night. Sometimes rising more than 10 times during sleep, this pattern eventually led to insomnia. I chalked it up to my age and told myself I was overstressed. Fatigue, back and hip pain, and weight loss were all becoming common. I felt comfortable with my DIY diagnosis and went on with my busy life.

As I progressed to erectile dysfunction (ED), it became clear that it would be difficult to reason my way out of this. However, I still avoided the doctor. I hoped these were natural things and not cancer. My behavior was firmly planted in denial.

A need for change

That denial inevitably led to bladder tumor surgery (TURBT). I’m now halfway through immunotherapy, and currently no evidence of disease (NED) approaching my two-year cancerversary. My wife and I lost nearly 200 pounds together and became a happier couple. I am no longer plagued by issues, such as ED, although I will never be the same due to what I experienced. I attribute my status to a good physician and accountability for my own mental and physical health.

Imagined and real, cancer made me feel alone, like an outcast in society. Impotent. At the end of my usefulness as a male. Rejected by my fellow man and woman due to a hidden failure. I did not tell people how many times I got up to urinate at night. I did not broadcast my life-threatening disease, let alone that these factors were having a serious impact on my life. The entire experience was embarrassing. When my drama turned me into a bladder cancer advocate, I put emphasis on the topics that need to be heard. Erectile dysfunction, prostate health, and urinary issues often accompany a bladder cancer diagnosis, and they urgently need to be addressed.

As a cancer health influencer and social media content creator, I regularly engage those affected by cancer. I am an avid mentor and utilize organizations, such as Imerman Angels, that put me on the front lines of our community. A cancer diagnosis is a shocking realization. I do my best in guiding patients and caregivers through their new normal, using my experience as an effective tool.

Cancer continues to be the most difficult and the most changing experience of my life. I took the negative energy generated by illness and used it. I could not have endured this battle without the support of my caregivers, my community, and the organizations that support me. Early detection is key, and staying receptive to sensitive subjects will save lives. Let us lock arms and confront cancer together, logically.